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  • Kuzhali Manickavel

Conversations- The Yellow Leddies Coalition Committee Organization Meeting

Updated: Aug 4, 2020


S- The good news is that The Yellow Leddies Coalition Committee Organization meeting will be held as scheduled.

K- Yay alcohol!

S- Now about the alcohol,

K- Yay!

S- One of our Yellow Leddies just had jaundice, as you know.

K- Yes, she was a true Yellow Leddies.

S- So she can’t have any alcohol because she might die or something so it was thought that as a sign of solidarity, we would not have any alcohol at this Yellow Leddies Coalition Committee Organization meeting.

K- I don’t understand.

S- We’re not having any alcohol.

K- I don’t understand.

S- No alcohol. Thanni kadayaathu. Vellam illa. Any idea how to say in Telugu?

K- No. Although I believe that the Telugu word for beer is beeru.

S- So if we just put one –ulu on the Tamil version we should get Telugu version, no? Beeru kadayaathulu.

K- That sounds very Telugu to me. S- Anyway, we must have some other form of entertainments instead of alcohol.

K- How about Uno?

S- You want to substitute alcohol with Uno?

K- Oh! How about an exotic dancer? I know one called SexehBewbies.

S- How does your brain go from Uno to exotic dancers called SexehBewbies?

K- SexehBewbies likes playing Uno.

S- Is that part of her act?

K- SexehBewbies is a dude. S- Oh! Like a drag queen?

K- No, he’s a very generic kind of dude who likes to lift his shirt up and show off his bewbies when he’s dancing. So racist of you to assume all exotic dancers are women.

S- You think our Yellow Leddies would be appreciating exotic male dancer called SexehBewbies?

K- Probably not as much as the alcohol. But whattodo.

S- You ask and tell, ah?

K- He will say yes only. He is a very public fellow.

***

K- But I said you were exotic male dancer.

SexehBewbies- So?

K- Dancing to Dandanakka Sarruku is not exotic.

SexehBewbies- Well if you had been American it would be very exotic for your face.

K- But I’m not American. None of us are.

SexehBewbies- Right. But if you were.

K- But we’re not.

SexehBewbies- But if you were.

K- This is the best conversation ever.

SexehBewbies- There is just more scope for rhythmic shirt lifting with the Dandanakka Sarruku song. And I can wear my onenumber lungi also.

K- You only have onenumber lungi? Chee. A real Tamil man would have millions of lungis. Millions and millions and millions.

SexehBewbies- Yes but I make up for my lack of lungis by having a moustache that curls up at the ends. Slightly. Sometimes.

K- You mean one side sticks out and looks somewhat.

SexehBewbies- IT CURLS UP.

K- Ok.

SexehBewbies- IT DOES!

K- Hang on, one another call is coming.

***

S- One of our Yellow Leddies has sent me a message asking ‘Will he be exposing?’

K- Exposing what?

S- I don’t know.

K- Like investigative journalism exposing?

S- Hang on, I’ll ask.

***

S- Ok she said not exposing like investigative journalism. Exposing like exposing peanuts.

K- Exposing peanuts?

S- That’s what she texted, ‘Will he be exposing peanuts?’ K- I don’t know if he has any peanuts. Hang on, I’ll ask. ***

SexehBewbies- I guess I could buy some. What do you want me to do with them?

K- Maybe eat them in an exotic way? Like with a knife and fork or something? Or chopsticks?

SexehBewbies- Or I could throw them around I guess. In an exotic manner.

K- You could do that.

SexehBewbies- I better go get some and start practicing. I’ve never danced with peanuts before.

***

S- About that peanuts thing.

K- He’s just gone to get some.

S- Apparently the question was ‘will he be exposing penis’.

K- How did you manage to read ‘penis’ as ‘peanuts’?

S- Slight confusions happened because this Yellow Leddies likes to spell it ‘peanus’. Which is actually kinda neat.

K- It is!

S- So will he?

K- I don’t know. Lemme ask.

***

SexehBewbies- But I bought all these peanuts!

K- Does this mean no?

SexehBewbies- My house is filled with peanuts! What am I going to do with all these fucking peanuts?!

K- I can understand if you want to say no if maybe the shy is coming for you.

SexehBewbies- I can’t find my fucking bathroom chappals because they’re somewhere under all these fucking bags of fucking peanuts!

K- Ok, Imma just tell them no because I have a feeling this means no.

***

K- Are you guys sure you don’t want peanuts instead? Because peanuts can totally happen right now. Peanuts abundance is happening.

S- Here’s the thing. A number of Yellow Leddies are saying forget exotic male dancer and just do alcohol for the meeting.

K- What about solidarity for jaundicecase?

S- Solidarity and all don’t want.

K- But SexehBewbies bought all these peanuts.

S- How much? So much?

K- SO much.

S- Ok, hang on.

***

K- So the bad news is that you can’t show us your penis. Which must pain you greatly because I know dudes like doing that kind of thing all the time.

SexehBewbies- We do. It’s a wonder we keep our pants on at all.

K- The good news is that The Yellow Leddies Coalition Committee Organization has agreed to buy all those peanuts from you so we can eat them at the meeting as sidedish for alcohol maindish.

SexehBewbies- No solidarity for the jaundicecase then?

K- Solidarity don’t want. Also the jaundicecase can’t come so it doesn’t make any sense to be solidarity for someone who isn’t going to be there anyway.

SexehBewbies- Especially if you weren’t going to be solidarity in the first place.

K- Exactly. And it has been decided that you will be invited and made an honorary Yellow Leddies.

SexehBewbies- I am truly honored, humbled and squee. Am I the phust dude to ever be elected a Yellow Leddie everever?

K- Actually no. We are having a number of Yellow Leddies Gents Fellows. I think you may be the phust gents fellow called SexehBewbies to ever be elected a Yellow Leddie though.

SexehBewbies- Oh is it? Then you should give me an award, no?

K- We’ll give you some peanuts.