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  • Writer's pictureKuzhali Manickavel

Stack Up Your Friends Like A Million Bucks And Other Things Also

Updated: Aug 4, 2020

Because I could not think of anything to blog about, I thought it would be the most splendid idea ever to post my Facebook 25 Random Things About Me List. I thought about this idea and I thought, wow, that is splendid. That is a splendid idea.

But first, I want to mention some other random things also.

1. This Article in Tehelka About Indian Readers And Indian Writers

“But reading contemporary Indian writers in English leaves you with a feeling that there remain stubborn layers of butter paper between their prose and the actual life they’re trying to describe. It is really a problem of foggy realism. They remain too mannered and fey to excite their verbal life with an original voice, to drive language hard, to mint indigenous metaphors, and provide little catharsis or pleasure to the reader. Aiming for vividness, they stop short at vivaciousness. Worse, the weaker ones sink into preciousness, petulance, grogginess.”

Word word word yes yes yes. Come on, Writers In India Who Write In English Who Live In India! Write More Better! Also, I want to say that I found Aseem Kaul’s blog post interesting because in the writing community I am familiar with, people tend to bend over their backsides, saying how the contributors, the editors, the editor’s mother and the very scent of the website’s html is so unbelievably awesome that it is nothing short of a major modern mystery that all this awesomeness hasn’t been nommed for all the prizes everywhere all the time. Nice to see some honesty and it was also nice that he said nice things about my story also.

2. Chillin By Lady Gaga. And Wale. This is one of the most frustrating songs I have heard in a very long time. Lady Gaga is the best thing this song has going for it but you have to sit through a lot of Wale in order to get to the Gaga. Which is hard because he keeps saying his name is Wale and after a while it’s like yes your name is Wale we get it you don’t have to keep saying it and yet you keep saying it like you did just now there you said it again. Liking the Bimbo Jones remix of this very much. I also like the line ‘stack up your friends like a million bucks’ though she may actually be saying ‘funds’ but I like to think it’s friends.

3. Words Without Borders had an issue on International Flash Fiction. Interesting to read, especially if you sometimes get the impression that flash fiction is American. Apparently it isn’t.

4. Do They Know It’s Hallowe’en has Narduwar the Human Serviette, Feist, Peaches, Beck and bits and pieces of Smoosh, Wolf Parade, that dog, Rilo Kiley and Sonic Youth all in the together to make a parody of that bodacious song Do They Know It’s Christmas which I love so very very much.

5. Podcasts- I dig podcasts because I can’t read. Every time I try to read a book I fall asleep. This did not happen when I read graphic novels, possibly because they had pictures in them. I’m recommending the LibriVox series of podcasts with this cautionary note. These are works in the public domain and they are read by volunteers. So while there are lots of interesting podcasts up and they are all free, they are works in the public domain and they are read by volunteers. So I would recommend these podcasts if you can’t read or can’t get your hands on reading material in the public domain or can’t afford reading material in the public domain but for some reason you have an internet connection and you don’t mind bad reading sometimes and you don’t mind bad stories sometimes.

6. Aada Varalaam – You can please aada varalaam (that is ‘come and dance’ for our non-Tamil-speaking-friends) to this song from the very awesome show Psychoville (from the same peeps that brought you the equally awesome League of Gentlemen). This is a song all everybodys can dance to because they are so much simple steps and even if you are sitting alone on chair or maybe you are with all so much of your friends enjoying like anything or maybe you are feeling very sad also and you feel like dancing you can do it also. Of course the dancing pair are mother and son but if you don’t think of them as mother and son it’s a lot less disturbing.

And now. 25 Random Things About Myself. Actually it’s just 19 because this post is too long already.

1. I once convinced a friend that Mary Oliver was working in a local cottage industry unit which extracted salt from gravel.

2. I once listened to the Dard E Disco remix on loop for 4 hours.

3. In grade 9, I had a large argument with a number of my classmates who insisted that Kangaroo was pronounced Gungah-rooh. I now have no idea how to say that word so I never use ‘Kangaroo’ in spoken conversation.

4. While walking home after a flood, I noticed a fish flipflopping on the road and so I tossed it into a muddy puddle where I watched it squirm even more because it was probably a very hot muddy puddle and there is a good chance that said fish boiled to death because of my selfless act of heroism.

5. When traveling by train to Chennai, I watched two old Brahmin ladies discuss religion with two Muslim men and instead of basking in the Unity In Diversity and singing Vande Mataram, I thought chi, so filmy.

6. I can speak 14 different languages but Hindi isn’t one of them. This makes me a bad, bad Indian.

7. When traveling by train, I am often mistaken for some movie star who ‘has large eyes’. This never happens when I travel by bus.

8. I once shot and killed something accidentally and now I really like guns.

9. As a child, I was very good at long distance running and earned the nickname, The Fastest Little Indian, which in turn led to allegations of racism within my school. This led to a very ugly chapter in the Canadian Public School system which was later made into an After-school Special movie. While they refused to give me the lead role, I did play one of the girls who is mean to the Fastest Little Indian but later I pat her on the back and say you’re awesome even though you look different.

10. I was part of the ukulele club until I said the ukulele club was retarded and then they said I couldn’t be in the ukulele club anymore.

11. During my youth, cows and small birds would attack me for no reason.

12. To put all rumor and speculation to rest, yes I am actually the artist known as M.I.A.

13. I lied about the M.I.A thing.

14. And I lied about some other stuff too.

15. Actually I lied about everything.

16. No I didn’t.

17. Yes I did.

18. I am going to say something profound yet funny about Slumdog Millionaire.

19. No I’m not.



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