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  • Writer's pictureKuzhali Manickavel

‘Down the stairs? Well, don’t stop when you get to the basement. Keep straight on.'

Updated: Aug 4, 2020

This blog post title is taken from the Mrs. Richards episode of Fawlty Towers. I think it speaks for itself. Anyway, Republic Day came and went and as has come to be the custom with Independence Day and Republic Day in this onenumber country, one tends to look at all the increased security and have thoughts that are not necessarily ‘I love India’ but more ‘I wonder who’ll get bombed today’ and ‘I wonder who has threatened to blow up who or what today’ and ‘I hope no one blows me up today’. Clearly, this is what the spirit of India and independence and republicness is all about.

Anyway, RuPaul’s Drag Race!!!!111!!!! Season 3 !!11!!!! You betta WERK!!! How I love this show. And because I love this show, imma list my fav quotes from this episode so I can look back on them later on and enjai like anything.

-Everybody knows who Yara Sofia is in Puerto Rico. And if you don’t, then sorry darling, this is not your world.

(k- I’m going to start saying this to people. Sorry darling, this is not your world.)

-Girl. Prison, honey.

-She wasn’t giving us sexy, she was giving us crazy.

-I think your breasts are throwing your balance off.

-Alexis, a little Ann Margaret she was giving me today.

-Girl don’t blow your nose on the fabric, bitch.

-You never want to be upstaged by a papier-mâché snowman, you know what I’m saying?

-The lipsyncing is starting to get a little violent. Shangela’s lampshade has become a weapon. 

I was informed that there are not enough pictures on this blog. So here’s one picture.

This sewing machine is one of those things that was bought because it seemed like a good idea at the time. We must reflect on what exactly the situation must have been like for the purchase of an 18th century sewing machine to seem like a good idea. Anyhoo, this machine hasn’t been used very often and when it has been used, it has been full of phail- I used it once and I felt the same sensation I get when someone makes the mistake of putting me behind the wheel of their car (which, I guess, also seems like a good idea at the time). It all looks very interesting and there are neat gadgets which I am appreciative of, but I really have no idea what I am doing and yet, I feel like that shouldn’t stop me also. Anyway, the common diagnosis is that this sewing machine hasn’t been used properly and so, it’s sort of gone bad. It is a monument to the corroding power of potential that is never used but continues to just sit there. This is the Biff Loman of sewing machines but also, not really. I hope to set it on fire one day. If I do, I will take picture and post it on my blog.

Here’s another picture.

See this nice angle and andy? I have no idea who they are. I have a photograph of them but I have no idea who they are. How did this happen? Once upon a time, an illustrious person (who would later send out 2007 New Year greetings in 2011) was once staying in Manipal hostel premises. And every year, various hostelites would leave behind English novels/random books after leaving the hostel, possibly because they are excess and unnecessary luggage. And this illustrious person, being someone who would later send out 2007 New Year greetings in 2011 (?!!??????), would collect all these orphaned and abandoned books and take them home. This photograph was in one of those books, but which book I cannot say.

For some reason, said illustrious person did not have the heart to throw this photo away so she left it in there. And everyone who borrowed the book said ‘hey you left this in here’ and she would say ‘it isn’t mine, you can throw it out if you want’ but no one ever did because there’s something very sweet about the picture, no? So it just kept changing hands because nobody had the heart to throw it away and nobody knew what to do with it either. Eventually the book and photo parted ways and the photo was stashed along with someone’s photo collection because sometimes things like that happen. And then, it was remembered that I have blog so there was this brilliant idea to put it on the blog and see if maybe someone knows who this andyangle is. This brilliant idea is both absurd and notabsurd because the English reading populace in this area is kind of incestuous, although not nearly as incestuous as the English writing populace in this area, which is so much into the interfucking and inbreeding that it’s pretty much fucking itself. But that happens with so many other writing communities also. Inbreeding and Interfucking- it’s what community is all about.

So if you can somehow prove that this louly andy and angle belong to you (I’m not sure how you would do that tho), I will return this photo to you. Or I might just ask you to right click and save it and then I will take it down. This will be a big bulb if it turns out to be the picture of someone I know. Actually, the more I think of it, the more this seems possible.

I was also informed that there aren’t enough positive/happy things on this blog. So here are things I find funneh or just like to look at. That doesn’t necessarily mean they are positive. 

Margaret Cho’s Mom on the Answering Machine– ‘If you don’t pick up the phone, then you gay.’

Bus Driver clips from Lil Miss Jocelyn– ‘5, 6, 7, 8, Cor, Blimey, Geezer, Mate’

Super Karate Monkey Death Car clip from News Radio – ‘But Jimmy has fancy plans! And pants to match.’

Horse Outside by Rubberbandits– ‘Fuck your Honda Civic, I’ve a horse outside’ 

I was alsoalso informed that there is just not enough of a lot of other things on this blog. And I was like, oh fuck off.



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