Please Buy this Chapbook and Go For This Event
Updated: Aug 7, 2020
Hallo. I say that in the confidence that no one reads this anymore barring Illustrious Acquaintance who will read this just to be rude. Anyhoo, I was requested to blog in order to promote my new chapbook, The Lucy Temerlin Institute for Broken Shapeshifters’ Guide to Starving Boys- Their Salient Features, How to find Them, How to Care For Them After They Die and Four Considerations (are overtly long titles obnoxious? You bet yer dern tootin’ they are!) and since I don’t really do anything to promote my work because I am stupid, this seemed like the honourable and smart thing to do. It behooves us however to ask why we are promoting things on a blog no one reads. But tis not ours to question why. So without further ado, here are some good reasons to buy this chapbook.
You will be supporting a small press and a very small writer who can’t get a job. And what do you do when you can’t get a job? You write a hecking chapbook, that’s what.
It’s not very long which is great if you don’t like my writing but for some reason have to read my book, which is a horrible situation to be in.
It has a long title. This is not a good reason as we have already stated
You can talk about how weird it is and meet new people
You can make art with it
You can gently hit someone with it
You can recycle it
You can eat it. You probably shouldn’t eat it
You can smoke it
Illustrious Acquaintance says you can’t smoke it sry I don’t know anything about smoking things actually
I think we can all agree that none of these are good reasons to do anything barring the first reason of supporting a small press and a very small writer who is combating unemployment with the extremely lucrative strategy of chapbook-writing. And now, after that horrific attempt at promoting my chapbook, I will now attempt to promote an event. You should go to this event because they made this great poster for it. Once upon a time, Nasser made a movie called Mugam and in my hostel, the girls were like you can watch that movie for Roja’s sari alone. Similarly, you can attend this event for the poster alone. Unfortunately, Mugam was so harrible, the sari was just ok and the movie somehow managed to give two girls viral fever but if racism has taught us anything, it is not to think one thing will happen just because another thing did.
You should also go for this event because it will have paleontological math problems. I don’t know what that is. I was very bad at math in school and continue to be bad at math now. So at least I am consistent in that, which is good.
Now back to the event. You should also go to the event because it will have all sorts of interesting people and snacks. I don’t know if there will be snacks. I’m guessing some people will have weed and other drugs but don’t tell anyone I said that and don’t do drugs either.
And now, just so this doesn’t seem like a purely promotional blog post, I will write about other things
I got D&D dice they are cheap and sparkly now all I need are some friends and I can play D&D like all the cool people.
Someone told me that “the graphic novel Housewives at Play” was about women fighting the patriarchy and I thought hmmm sounds like porn tho but I was like yay that’s so great because I mean what else do you say when people say women fighting patriarchy, you don’t want to be rude, especially when it comes to women fighting the patriarchy. Anyway, because I’m stupid I believed them so just fyi, Housewives at Play is not about women fighting the patriarchy. Or maybe it is. Tbh the word patriarchy sometimes makes me think of a large bird. Great book if you’re into bewbs tho.
In the walking park someone put up a sign requesting all to not wear perfume because it pollutes the morning air whaaaaaaat.
I did play D&D with Rakesh Khanna from Blaft and it was very great. I don’t think I played it correctly but still it was great.
Myself and an acquaintance were held hostage in a room for about 27 years by this aggressive and possibly drunk moth and it was the size of a hecking bat I’m not even kidding.
I read so many many many books.
Haha sry I didn’t read anything except ketchup packets and they weren’t so interesting
No waitees, I read this short story called Mud by La.Sa. Ramamirtham (translated from Tamil) and it was amazing please read it.
I wrote a novel.
I did not write a novel.
I killed a number of house plants.
I released a platoon of moths that were living in the tamarind jar which made me think of the many worms I must have consumed unwittingly. I don’t think I ate any moths. I may have eaten some moths.
In conclusion, please attend the aforementioned event and please buy my chapbook though you don’t have to if you don’t want to.